State of the Union

 

The best part of the state of the union, aside from the vague nausea at the prospect of what new internationally embarrassing thing Bush might say, is the people watching. Hillary Clinton had a stare to bust diamonds and I’m quite sure her thoughts paralleled the sentiment “You are so full of shit you squeak going into a turn.”  The bubble over McCain’s head would say : “I did not spend five years in a
Hanoi prison so that this draft dodging dildo could be commander in chief.” At one point it looked like he was asleep but he might just have gone to his

Happy Place

to find some serenity.  Kerry was clapping away.  God if he’d been half so animated during the election campaign this boob wouldn’t be president at all.  If I were Pelosi I would have seriously lost my shit and probably pulled my skirt up over my head and yelled “If one more fucking person points out that I am a woman, I am going to smack the mutherhuffin holy bejesus out of them!!” But she was actually diplomatic; she and Cheney were going up and down like a pair of altar boys with hemorrhoids.

 

As far the great man himself,  Georgie, I loved your idea for a “Civilian Reserve Corps”.  I think that’s called the National Guard, which you should know all about.  It’s where you were when you were dodging the draft, Commander.  Also since when is HIVAIDS one word?  And what was up with the random basketball player in the audience. I’m sorry is this the Muppet Show? And who are all these freaks getting GW’s autograph at the end?  That might be the gayest thing I have ever seen.  Fucking sycophantic parasites.

 

 I wish I were there.  I would have loved having the camera pan over me wearing a T-shirt that said “I’m tired of pretending I’m Canadian” with a picture of Barack Obama on it.